you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
