my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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