I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
