everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
