my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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