Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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