He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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