I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
