he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
