my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
