we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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