Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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