I wanna passion pit in your ass
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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