It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
