GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
