And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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