that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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