bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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