I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
it's like heaven, but drunker
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize