just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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