I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
