Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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