the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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