some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just found a bag of teeth...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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