Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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