I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
