does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
