the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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