She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
