On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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