Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
