A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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