About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
