I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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