I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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