I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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