Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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