How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
What a dumb baby whore.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
