I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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