Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize