I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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