I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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