The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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