So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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