At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
