just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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