I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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