Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize