i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
