I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
