Where are you?
In a non slutty way
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize