I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize