alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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