when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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