sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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