I think I am morally bankrupt
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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