God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
