um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
