You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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