You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
